batfic | My Holyday Gifting Challenge Answers

I had posted this as a challenge and got some really great answers. Now I’m posting my answers to the question, What would you get the world’s richest men for Christmas, and expanded it to my favorite comic characters. Besides with my financial status (unemployed and broke) this is the only shopping I’m doing this year.

Bruce Wayne (Batman) A hand crafted Bourbon made by the Leopold Bros. small batch distillery (so small each label is hand numbered and signed and a case of uranium ore from Amazon cause every mad scientist needs alcohol and radioactive ore

Dick Grayson (Nightwing) a signed copy of The Ethical Slut and The Ethical Slut Practical Guide cause our boy just can’t seem to choose so why choose and The Bottoming Book because our boy is the subbiest sub to ever submit.

Barbara Gordon (Oracle) A weekend in New York that includes tickets to Broadway show in an ADA compliant theater, paid reservations to dinner at a swanky restaurant also ADA compliant and a day at an ADA compliant spa with the person of her choice all the while having the sweet knowledge of knowing the kids (the rest of the caps and masks community) being taken care of by Tim, Wendy and Alfred as back-up.

Jason Todd (Red Hood) a clean apartment, a fridge filled with easy to heat meals, thermal underwear, hotsox thermal socks and silk boxer briefs cause he’s a practical soul.

Tim Drake-Wayne (Red Robin) a Nikon camera kit and dark room supplies cause our Tim needs a little artistic outlet in his hectic life and a small supply of pink K so that he can have another creative outlet

Stephanie Brown (Batgirl) an Amazon Kindle, a gift cert for collage texts for the Kindle, (I stole this from imasupermuteant) Full Frontal Feminism, because I too think she needs to start defining herself according to herself, and not the men in her life and How to Deal With People You Can’t Stand cause it might upset Bruce is she kills his son…well it might.

Cassandra Cain (Former Batgirl now Agent of the Batman) A weeks vacation at a Spa Resort that specializes in quiet serenity cause handling Batman’s shit must have been hell while he was “away”

Damien Wayne (Robin) A Holiday Vacation at Madea Simmons Camp for Misbehaving Childrens Who Ought To Know Better, and a Tim/Red Robin Deformed Plushie to either beat the hell out of or snuggle up to according to his pre-pubescent mood swings.

Alfred Pennyworth (The BatKeeper) A months vacation at some wonderful European Spa that specializes in overstressed care takers. We all know that he’ll only stay a week at most so he will get the month in week long vouchers he can use as necessary or as prescribed by Dr.Thompson.

Clark Kent (Superman) A Batman Deformed Plushie, A Kindle loaded with The Loving Dominant and Many Kisses, Stories of Dominant Love and Different Loving: The World of Sexual Dominance and Submission because please, the man you love runs around nights wearing skin tight leather and armor, growls and believes he is superior to mosting things breathing….a Dom

Conner Kent (Superboy) 10 pairs of Iron Heart Jeans, the toughest, strongest, most stubborn jeans in the world, no argument… cause our boy refuses to wear a uniform and must go through more denim than the law allows.

Kara Zor-El (Supergirl) A girls night out with Power Girl and Batgirl in Vegas cause what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.

Tony Stark (Iron Man) having an uninterrupted week in his lab/workshop with a good idea (or twelve) and Steve making sure he gets food and drink delivered, but he has to give Steve his gift the next week.

Steve Rogers (Captain America) having a week with Tony locked out of his lab and office and dropped on a deserted island with enough shelter, food, and intimate supplies. The art supplies to allow him to capture the beauty of both Tony and the island.

Peter Parker (Spiderman) Mary Jane back

Oliver Queen (Green Arrow) imasupermuteant suggested condoms, I feel Ollie needs a vasectomy and therapy to determine if he is poly minded or just a horn dog.

Professor Xavier (Professor X) A wonderful assortment of handmade winter hats and matching scarves and a holiday to himself with no students, problems, emergencies or occurrences in a spa that specializes in late effect spinal injury survivors.

Remy Lebeau (Gambit) To be part of a Logan & Kurt sandwich

Logan (Wolverine) To be part of a Remy & Kurt sandwich

Kurt Wagner (Nightcrawler) To be part of a Remy & Logan sandwich.

Lex Luthor Comics Luthor – a lump of coal and a spanking. SV Luthor, a lump of pink K and a red sun world manufactured paddle

Danny Rand (Iron Fist) Peace and acceptance by Luke and Danielle as an equal partner (making them a V triad with Luke as it’s apex)